WELL, DIP ME IN HISTORY AND CALL ME A TIME LORD! It’s the brand new book from the author of the award-winning and bestselling Mr Gum series!
NATBOFF! is a hysterical collection of stories, all set in Mr Gum’s hometown of Lamonic Bibber. Strap on your laughter goggles as you embark on a time-travelling journey through the funniest and maddest moments in history. From the Stone Age to Medieval times, from the Great Fire to the First World War, to one million years in the future, it’s all here – and it’s all completely crazy.
Meet the town’s most famous residents, including: Natboff the caveman! Princess Snowflake! A malcontent squirrel! Strange Mildred the witch! A talking grape called Plover! Cribbins, the mysterious Victorian inventor, who invented mysterious Victorian things! And plenty more besides!
Packed full of stories, poems, an extremely odd history of the British monarchy, and even a ‘Shakespearian’ play (penned by William’s less-famous brother, Terry) – and with plenty of Easter eggs for Mr Gum fans to spot along the way – this book is perfect for fans of Horrible Histories, Roald Dahl and David Williams. Plus it’s the only one that’s got the word ‘kingandqueeniest’ in it, most likely.
With hilarious illustrations by David Tazzyman.
‘Doctor Wempers,’ said Cribbins. ‘You and I have been friends for many years. Of all my acquaintances, you know more of my secrets than any. And yet there is one secret that lies so close to my heart that I am afraid it shall grow and grow, strangling me from the inside like a horrible cauliflower, unless I let it out.’
‘Come now,’ said I, using a new invention called a “mouth” that Cribbins had invented only that morning. ‘Tell me what is on your mind.’
‘Here is my dreadful secret,’ lamented Cribbins. ‘I . . . I am an utter failure.’
Now, this left me completely agog. I had been partially agog before in my life, of course, who hasn’t – but never completely agog. It was quite painful, being that agog.
‘You? A failure?’ I spluttered, accidentally getting a bit of spit in Cribbins’ hair, though he either did not notice or did not care. ‘My dear Cribbins, you are nothing of the sort! You have discovered over three thousand new species of moustache! You have grown a new type of hazelnut that is slightly nicer than a normal hazelnut! You have devised a machine called a ‘Woosking Naffler’ which is so ingenious that it does nothing at all! Why, you are no less than the greatest Scientist of this Age or any other! You are the furthest thing from a failure I could imagine!’